Only a few minutes earlier, Devon had dragged Jonathan with him up to the group of popular boys. A few of the boys stepped back in fear as they passed, but Devon was a thousand times more peaceful than he had been the last time.
“Chris, can I speak with you?” Devon disgustedly asked. Chris too looked up at him slightly frightened, but he agreed when he saw that Jonathan was with Devon. Devon didn't say another word, but he walked away and over to an empty spot in the schoolyard, and Jonathan and Chris tentatively followed him.
“What is it?” Chris asked when Devon had stopped and turned around.
“My sister asked that I tell you she doesn't want you to be a part of the whole baby thing.” Devon sighed, glanced at Jonathan, then reluctantly said, “And I'm sorry for hitting you. It was out of line.”
Chris ignored Devon's apology and asked, “She doesn't?”
“Right.”
“Oh.” Chris sounded rather disappointed, though there was also a hint of relief in his voice. “Well, thank you for letting me know. And, Devon, you should know that I deeply regret what I did.”
“Of course you do,” Devon sneered. Chris winced as he looked at Devon and remembered that night with Kirsten, and that lovely interaction he and Devon had before. Devon couldn't hold in his contempt for much longer, so he silently walked off. Jonathan thought it would be a good idea to leave with him, but just before he did, he stole a look at Chris, who quickly flashed him a smile.
As Jonathan and Devon walked up to the door, Chester walked up to them. He came out of nowhere, it seemed, but as soon as they had walked away from Christopher, he had rushed over to them.
“What was that all about?” Chester asked Jonathan. Jonathan tried to ignore him, but Chester merely pressed on.
“It's not any of your business, OK?” Jonathan finally answered. “Devon was the one talking to him, anyway.”
“Why was Devon talking to him?”
“It's not any of your business,” Jonathan firmly repeated. He stopped at his locker, and Chester stopped with him. “Look, if you really want an answer, go ask Devon. But he's not going to tell you, either.”
“Whatever, I just think it's strange that people like you would be talking to someone like him,” Chester mused, narrowing his eyes. “But if there's something going on, I will find out about it.”
“Why do you care, anyway?” Jonathan asked as he nearly slammed his locker shut. Chester looked at him and shrugged as he began to walk away.
“I just like knowing things.”
Jonathan shook his head in confusion, then left for homeroom. He went through the rest of the day dodging accusing stares from Chester in the few classes they shared. He could not for the life of him figure out why Chester was so interested in their discussion. It's not like they'd even been talking for that long. Even Devon noticed Chester's odd behavior, and he asked Jonathan about it while they sat in lunch, though Jonathan wasn't much help.
“Why is he staring over here?” Devon asked Jonathan. Jonathan set down the sandwich he was holding and swallowed before he answered.
“Who?” Devon nodded his head in Chester's direction, and Jonathan looked as quickly as he could. “Oh. He's really... nosy, or something.”
“He's nosy?” Devon dumbly repeated.
“He wanted to know why you were talking to Chris earlier.”
“What did you tell him?”
“I told him it wasn't any of his business,” Jonathan replied, picking up his sandwich again. “'Cause it's not. But he won't stop, for some reason.”
“It's kinda freaking me out,” Devon said, and Jonathan nodded. Chester was being incredibly weird, and even when he wasn't around, Jonathan felt his eyes staring, piercing through him to find some deep secret.
That's why Jonathan was a little apprehensive to meet up with Chris after school. He still went, of course, because he really needed to see Chris. He waited longer than he usually would have before he left, though. When he finally did walk into the small alley, Chris looked up at him and smiled widely.
“Jon!” Chris exclaimed, practically yanking Jonathan towards him. “For a minute there I thought you weren't going to show up.”
“No, I just waited a little longer today.” Chris squished his eyebrows together.
“Why, is there something wrong?”
“Uh, no, it was just- well, just to be safe.” Chris smiled in relief and wrapped his arms around Jonathan as he pulled him in for a kiss. Jonathan basked in the taste of Chris, something he realized he hadn't experienced in a while.
“Jon,” Chris said in between kisses, “we really... don't see each other... often enough.” Jonathan let out a grunt as a reply; he would have given a proper response if he hadn't been trying to get as much of Chris as he could. They both got a little carried away, and Jonathan ended up being pushed up against the side of the school while Chris ran his hands down Jonathan's chest. They were so wrapped up in each other that they missed the faint sound of footsteps. It wasn't until someone loudly cleared their throat that they stopped.
Chris and Jonathan both froze, and Chris took a step back. “Shit.”
“I told you I'd find out,” Chester smugly said. He folded his arms across his chest and stuck his nose up in the air. “Never expected anything like this, though.”
“Chester, you didn't see anything,” Jonathan said. Chris looked over at him, a bit confused.
“Oh, really? Because I could have sworn that you two were-”
“You didn't see anything,” Jonathan reinforced. Chris was fidgeting nervously, and Chester laughed.
“Right, I didn't see anything. So, I'm sure your father wouldn't care about what I didn't see?”
“No, please,” Chris pleaded, “don't. Don't do this.”
Chester looked at Chris and tilted his head. “Why shouldn't I? What's in it for me?”
“Nothing's in it for you,” Jonathan told him. “It's not like there's anything in it for you if you tell, either.”
“Au contraire, Jonathan.” Chester began to walk in circles around Chris and Jonathan. “You see, if I tell your father... Randall, is it? If I tell him, well, then I get the satisfaction of knowing that you will be completely destroyed.” Chester stopped inches away from Jonathan and looked him square in the eye. “And that would make my life.”
Jonathan said nothing, stared at Chester with flaring nostrils as Chester laughed evilly then walked off. Chris watched Chester leave, then turned to Jonathan.
“Jon, you have to go, you have to stop him,” Chris panicked. “If he tells your dad, I- we....”
“Yeah.” Jonathan leaned forward to kiss Chris, then bolted off to his mother's car. When he threw open the car door, Penny was a bit taken aback.
“Jonathan, are you all right?” Jonathan looked at his mother, and tried to calm himself down. It was an immensely difficult task.
“Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just... tired. Can we go home now?” Penny held her gaze on Jonathan for a few moments, daring to believe him, then went on and started the car. Jonathan watched out the window as the world went whizzing past them. All he could think about Chester and his evil laugh. He didn't really know much about Chester, so he couldn't be sure that Chester was serious. Then again, Chester did seem to hate Jonathan dearly, and Jonathan hated him, too.
Randall wouldn't be home for a while, though, especially not if he decided to go drinking after work. For once, Jonathan was actually a tad bit glad that his father was an alcoholic. There was also the possibility that Chester would come to his house and just tell his mother instead, which was equally frightening. Maybe Penny wouldn't be so harsh about it, though, and maybe she'd agree not to tell Randall.
Chester would probably realize that Randall wasn't informed if nothing ever happened to Jonathan, though. Then he could just go back and tell Randall himself, and Randall would find out that along with Jonathan, Penny was keeping it from him, and that would just exacerbate things to no end. And, if Randall came home drunk and Chester told him, then Randall might react even worse than he normally would.
All of this was way too much thought to cram into a short five minute period, and when Jonathan got out of the car he was feeling a little lightheaded. Instead of taking his usual walk up to his room, he collapsed in one of the kitchen chairs. Penny walked by him and put her hand on his shoulder.
“Jonathan, are you sure you're OK? Why don't you lay down?”
“No, mum, I'm fine.” Laying down wouldn't help him, especially because he felt like if he was in the kitchen and there was a knock on the door, he would be able to answer it first, so that if it really was Chester, he could just somehow make the whole problem go away. Slam the door in his face or something. Sure, there was no guarantee that Chester wouldn't come back at another time, but at least Jonathan would be safe for a little while. Going upstairs to his room would not help at all.
Jonathan sat at that table for two solid hours before he decided that he needed to get out of the house for a bit. He left without saying anything to his mother, but he figured that she'd realize he'd gone for a walk. He did worry that maybe Chester would show up while he was gone, but then he remembered that he'd be able to see any cars passing by in the direction of his house, or he'd be able to see Chester walking down the street. He wasn't sure where Chester lived, so he didn't know how he'd be traveling; either way, though, he would be able to prepare himself to either stop Chester or convince his parents that Chester was lying.
He didn't run into Chester in any form while he was walking, but he did run into Devon. It wasn't a great surprise, as Jonathan had walked past Devon's house, but he wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone, not even his best friend.
“Jon?” Devon called as Jonathan ignored his first greeting and merely walked by. “Jonathan, what's going on?” Jonathan continued to ignore Devon, which he found to be difficult after he noticed that Devon was chasing after him. He kept his pace, though, and tried to keep his thoughts in order. “Jonathan!”
“Leave me alone, Devon,” Jonathan yelled as he spun around. Devon was only a few feet behind him, and he stopped walking almost immediately.
“Just tell me what's wrong! We're best friends, right? I can help you out.”
“No, Devon, you can't,” Jonathan said, and just before he turned back he added, “Goodbye.”
Devon sighed in frustration, but he heeded Jonathan's command and went back to his house. Jonathan continued his walk until the sun began to set, at which time he begrudgingly and anxiously returned home.
He hadn't expected for there to be a car other than his mother's in the driveway when he arrived. When he saw the car from far away, he began to panic and his heart raced like crazy. The closer he got, though, and the more carefully he looked at the car through the growing darkness, the more he saw that there was no way it was Chester. He was still worried, though; why would they be at his house?
He ran up to his front door and burst inside. The person speaking to his mother was an older woman dressed in a police uniform. His mother seemed to be unharmed, but her face was gaunt and suddenly what the police woman was saying entered into Jonathan's ears.
“There was another car involved. The driver was also male, a teenager. The EMTs tried their best to save them, but it was no good. They were both gone before we even arrived.” Penny began to sob, and the other woman put a friendly hand on her shoulder. “I'm sorry, ma'am.” She looked over at Jonathan, back to Penny, then sighed and began to walk away. “Take good care of your mother, all right?” she said to Jonathan as she left. Jonathan stood still and watched his mother as he heard the door closing behind him.
“Mum?” Penny turned to Jonathan, and through her tears found her way to her son. She buried her head in his shoulder and continued her weeping for a few minutes. Eventually, she quieted down enough to speak.
“Jonathan, your father...” She looked as though she would start to cry again any second, and she did as she said, “It was never a good idea for him to start drinking again.” Jonathan held on to his mother as she returned to her sobbing and he realized what had happened.
According to the police reports, Randall's blood-alcohol level was way over the legal limit when the crash happened. It could be assumed that his intoxication is what lead to the accident, and it kind of was: Randall had suffered a heart attack, something that was not unheard of among older men, and the alcohol only increased his risk. Technically, the heart attack was the cause of the crash, but as the alcohol was the cause of the heart attack, it was suffice to say that the crash was the result of drunk driving.
The other driver, the teenage boy, was, oddly enough, headed in the direction of Jonathan's house. How fitting that Chester was killed by the very same man he was driving to see. Jonathan had no idea how to react to any of this news: relief, because now his secret would be safe, and there was hardly anyone to hear it, anyway; shock, because it was weird to think that someone who was just alive, and who he'd just talked to earlier could be completely gone from the planet, never to be seen again; and, of course, sadness, because, well, his father just died. As much as Jonathan hated Randall, he was still his father.
The next day, a double memorial was held in honor of the deceased. Chester's parents and siblings were there along with Jonathan and Penny, and the two families were trying to talk through their pain with each other. Penny was talking to Chester's family, anyway, but Jonathan was just standing, staring off into space, and absentmindedly speaking to the other boys who walked up to him.
“Jonathan.” The voice pulled him back to reality, if not just momentarily. Chris was standing in front of him, looking miserably sympathetic. It almost hurt more to see Chris so sad for Jonathan. “My condolences.”
“Thank you.” The two boys just stared at each other in silence for a few moments, then Chris lifted his hand to his heart and mouthed, “I love you,” before he walked away and some other boy walked up to Jonathan.
After Chris walked away, he sat down in an empty seat, one of the many chairs that filled the hall. He recklessly watched Jonathan, not caring whether or not anyone caught him staring. It really hurt him to see Jonathan so upset. Jonathan needed him, but there was nothing he could do. What made things even worse was that Chris's parents had set him up with another date. This time, he'd be going to some sort of fancy ball rather than just out to dinner, but he still didn't want to. Unlike Jonathan, Chris had yet to realize that one day they would have to split. He was utterly convinced that he and Jonathan would be together until they one of them stopped loving the other, which would hopefully be never.
Against his better judgment, Chris decided not to tell Jonathan about the date the next time they spoke. It was a few days after the memorial, and Chris was set to attend the ball the next evening. Jonathan was set to attend his father's funeral.
“It's weird,” Jonathan said. He and Chris were sitting in the small alleyway, even though they had both agreed from then on to meet in much more private places. “He was never really around much... or I wasn't really around him a lot, but now that I know he'll never be there again... it's just weird.”
“I remember when my pet goldfish died,” Chris said. “It's hardly the same, I know, but it was definitely tough. I was only five, so it was the first time I ever dealt with death.”
“What happened?”
“Well, I had the goldfish for a couple of months. I always talked to it like it was my best friend,” Chris was smiling, but it soon faded. “One day, I woke up, and he didn't.”
Jonathan looked peacefully at Chris. “Was he your best friend?”
“I... guess he kinda was. I told him lots of things I'd have never told anyone.” Chris stared hard at the ground, almost as if he was haunted by his revelations. “I shouldn't be bothering you with that.”
“It's all right,” Jonathan said, resting his head on Chris's shoulder. “You can bother me with anything, hearing your voice helps.”
“Of course,” Chris replied, and he brought his arm around Jonathan. “What would you like me to bother you with, then?”
“Tell me more about your fish,” Jonathan quietly demanded. “What was his name?”
“I think his name was Goldie,” Chris laughed. “I was quite an imaginative child.”
Jonathan laughed along. “Where did you get him?”
“My older brother won him from some carnival game. It was actually rather surprising that he lasted as long as he did. But I guess my brother didn't want him or something, so I ended up taking him.”
“Well, that was very kind of you,” Jonathan said, slightly sarcastic.
“Man, I loved that fish. I really think he was my best friend... back then.”
“What sort of things did you tell him about?”
Chris thought for a moment. “Uh, mostly little kid stuff, like if some girl fancied me, I'd tell him about it, and complain that girls have cooties. Normal five-year-old boy things, I guess.”
“Ah, cooties. Those were the days, weren't they?” Jonathan laughed.
“Yeah,” Chris smiled. “Kids come up with the craziest things.” The two boys were quite silent for a bit, and Chris looked down at Jonathan. “I'm glad you don't have cooties,” he laughed. Jonathan sat up and looked at Chris.
“As am I. Otherwise, it would be really gross if I did this.” Jonathan leaned forward, but instead of kissing Chris like Chris thought he was going to do, Jonathan licked Chris's cheek.
“Ah, that's still gross!” Chris exclaimed, wiping off his cheek, but laughing the whole time.
“I suppose it is. Here,” Jonathan turned his head to the side, “you can lick me, if you like.”
“Why, Jonathan, isn't that a little inappropriate?” Chris seductively asked. Jonathan playfully shoved Chris's arm, which reminded him of something.
“Oh! I had a dream about you the other night-”
“Still being inappropriate, are we?” Chris briefly interrupted, but Jonathan continued without a pause.
“-and you were very different.”
Chris tilted his head to the side. “How so?”
“You didn't have so much hair,” Jonathan replied, tapping Chris's mop of curliness. “And you were wearing glasses.”
“Glasses? Wow. I can't imagine that I'd look right with glasses.”
“No, you looked magnificent,” Jonathan reassured Chris. “And you met my parents. They loved you.” Jonathan went silent, scrunched his eyebrows together as he remembered that his father had been in that dream. But it wasn't really his father, it was who he wanted his father to be. Now his father wouldn't be anything.
“Jonathan, I hate to disappoint you, but I think I should be heading home.” Jonathan looked up at Chris and nodded. “Well, isn't your mother waiting for you, anyway?”
“No, she's... well, she has a sort of aversion to cars now. I've been walking back and forth between home and school for the past couple of days.”
“Seriously? Isn't that awful?” Chris asked, and Jonathan shrugged.
“It's not so bad,” he replied.
“I wish I could walk you home,” Chris said, brushing Jonathan's cheek. “I wish I could do a lot of things with you.”
“Inappropriate,” Jonathan muttered, and Chris smiled.
“I love you so very much, Jonathan.” Jonathan smiled and placed his hand on top of Chris's.
“I love you, too.” Chris nodded and stood up, and Jonathan soon followed.
“Do you remember that building I brought you to? I think we should go there from now on.”
“OK,” Jonathan said. Chris stepped forward and tightly embraced Jonathan.
“Goodbye, Jonathan,” Chris whispered in Jonathan's ear. “Wherever the future brings us, we'll still be there together. Just remember that.”
Jonathan held on to Chris for as long as he could, and when Chris finally had to leave, he clung to Chris's words instead. They rang in his head and echoed through every bit of his brain like some catchy pop song, except these words were much more tolerable. And, Jonathan thought, they were much more heartfelt.
Jonathan found a rock to kick on his way home, and he entertained himself by watching it roll spastically down the sidewalk. He realized that after each kick, the rock would bounce differently, and for different periods of time. But no matter what, Jonathan always ended catching up with it.
Chris was right. They'd already been through some rough times, what with Kirsten being pregnant, and Chester finding them together. Each time they made it through just fine. Surely, they'd be able to get past whatever else was in store for them.
Of course, Jonathan didn't realize that Chris's statement had just been his way of letting Jonathan know that he was probably going to be doing more than he'd like with his date the next night.
